I don't like to live a life of grudges, hate, or I wish that never happened. If I get burned, I just go on with my life and while most people never talk to that person again. I some how continue to have them in my life. My flaw in life... Always seeing the best in people.
Last week I heard words that I've been longing to hear... "Look, I'm Sorry". Expect it was one of those over used "I'm sorry". The one's where they still have no idea what they did to you. It's kind of like "I Miss You". Most people just throw it out so they don't get crap for not talking to you.
I was made a fool, played wonderfully, and not to mention humiliated. I didn't say a word, or confront you, so I would say I was pretty COOL about the whole thing. Cool that I flew all the way to a different state to get thrown away. Cool that you were with another girl right in front of me. Coffee+ You+ House should of never happened the next morning and I should of just gotten on a plane never to return again.... That didnt happen either because I came back 2 months later and that night while curled up on your couch wearing your jacket watching Quadrophenia I knew that things were different. I barely said two words the whole time.
You know in the Movie, Almost Famous when Penny and Russell meet again and they just shake hands for a while and he moves her hair out of her face and then she laughs/crys. Yah that was me that night.
One of my friends said this to me the other night on the phone. "Gabbie, while he's slowly falling from grace you're still rising every day. Your career could take of any minute and that's what you should focus on. Not some rock n roller who's really just a joke."
I learned a few things last week
- He in fact never cared, so why continue to put yourself through his fluber (yeah, so 90's)
- Focus on you
- Take a break from the world
- Deny everything
- We're not cool
I'm headed to Nashville next Tuesday to cover CMA Music Fest and attend partys and award shows. I'm taking this as a little break from the world. I'm going to live in this exciting time that is happening and have me time. It's okay to have me time, right?