Have you ever had one of those dreams where it was just brutally honest. When I say honest, I mean, it was so intense that it almost felt real. The emotion was high, you knew the people, and it was almost too life like. I woke up from one of those today. I don't think I've ever experienced anything like it before. I had to sit up and take in everything that just happened while I was sleeping.
My dream featured only one familar face. A face I hadn't seen or spoken to in almost a year. Sometimes your story just ends with people.... even without a THE END. That's pretty much how our story ended up on the floor. Of course there's always a part of you that just keeps saying "It isn't over, It still isn't over".
Anyways, while I was sleeping this dream appeared. I usually have a hard time remembering them, but this one stuck with me. There we were sitting face to face, our foreheads touching as he honestly stated everything I had wish to hear. It was a first honest moment I had ever experienced with him. I NEVER had one in real life. I could smell his cologne, which made it so real. He laid everyting on the line as he spoke the truth, or what I subconsciously thought it was. He even shed a tear (I guess men cry in my dreams when they do wrong). He then said the 3 letter word. TWICE. It was weird and scary. I was so shaken by it, that I quickly woke up.
When I was seeing him, I thought everything was perfect. I don't know why, but it all felt right. Me + him. It was like we were on this level that I couldn't often find words to describe. It was all a secret, that most figured out because they weren't blind. In my dream he called me out for sharing it with 12,000 people. A weird number to say the least. Especially when you only told your close friends, and they still didn't even know the full story. I guess when you think you're so Rock and Roll, you often think people care about silly things. Who you're seeing being one of them.
I never truly been honest with myself or people about how hard it was to deal with a story just ending abruptly. It's still a sore topic today, that I hide pretty well. The words, "you sunk my ship deep" will never come out of my mouth. Even if given the chance to lay everyting out on the line, I don't think I could do it. I mean, I think that is what this dream was about. Me wanting him to just tell me what he was thinking, feeling. Dreams can always appear life like. Sometimes life can almost appear like a dream. I just wanted to know that it was real. He's trying so hard to hide/ forget something was a part of his life. I sometimes go back and watch videos of me dancing on a couch singing his songs right back to him. The way he looked at me cuts deep, because he'll never look at me the same way again. He use to read these lil post I use to write on here. Maybe, he'll discover this one. I have to constantly keep reminding myself that if it was love, it would of made him stayed.
There were questions that I needed answered, that would forever be unanswered.
Dreams are just dreams, but can open up a whole new life perspective. They can secretly tell you what you're craving, missing, and hoping for.